Workplace violence

Don't you hate it when people congregate around your desk talking? That pisses me off so bad. No matter if I have a cubicle or my desk is out in the open, it seems like people like to get all around my desk and talk about their boring ass lives w/ their bad ass children that ran away from home, or about their summer home in Naples, etc. News Flash: I don't give a damn!! Please scurry away from my desk b/c I am trying to make a personal call and surf the web and you all up in my ish! Thank You

Seriously though...you should see the looks I give them. I don't have a cube anymore so my desk is kind of out in the open. But it's in the cut so I'm not understanding how these people just find me. I swear they leave breadcrumbs just to find their way back to bother me. And then...UGGHHH....I HATE when I'm away from my desk and I come back and see someone is using my phone or if I'm sitting at my desk and they come and use my stapler or anything else off my desk. Buy your own supplies trick!!! I don't come over to your desk invading your space, picking up shit. Please don't touch my stuff. I don't give a damn if the company paid for it, I ordered it. Therefore it's mine!!! Then I hate it that just b/c I am in an open space, people think I am the whole company's receptionist or something, coming up to me asking me where people's offices are or what their numbers are. You know me being me, I could easily just look it up for them to be nice, but hell, I aint getting paid to do that. I am not their receptionist, I don't know where they sit, I don't know their number. Shit, I don't even know who they are. You shouldn't have left YOUR office without that information.

But you know what bothers me about work environments the most? When I walk in the bathroom and see that there are people in a stall, I go in and use the bathroom, while I'm in the stall I hear the other person flush the toilet, and then.....i don't hear no damn water! You should see me peek through that think slit in the stall to see who the trifling individual is that just wiped their nasty stank cooch and didn't bother to disenfect it w/ some damn soap and water. I do this so I know not to ever shake their hands, or even breath on me for fear of mono or something.

One more thing I hate that piggybacks on the washing hands thing. If I don't get first dibs on food at an office gathering, I don't want none. I am not eating after them folks. I hate to be racial about it, but its usually those white women I've spotted in the bathroom leaving out w/out washing their hands, and then you want to stick your fingers in a bowl of chips. Example...one day I was sitting at my desk and they were having a conference in the conference room across from me. They put the table of food outside of the room so I grabbed a couple things before anyone else (mind you, I'm not even involved in the meeting). Once people in the meeting got word of food, they came out. This one guy in question stuck his fat nasty sausage hand in the platter of sandwich meat and picked some up (with utensils AND plates sitting right in his face) and proceeded to eat the meat overtop of the platter. I couldn't believe. I actually made a face and an EWWW noise when he did it. Not sure if he heard me or not, but trust me I didn't care. This this lady comes out and picks up a roll, decides she doesn't want that one, puts it back and picks up another. You couldnt pay me to eat anything off that platter.